“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.”
-Mary Ellen Chase
I got a Secret to tell. It’s a Christmas gift from me to you. It is arriving late, but delivering it took few days more than planned.
It doesn’t come in a packet, nor in a chocolate box or inside of a new television. It comes from all of my heart. It is called Love. Why I give my gift to you is not because I think I have to do it. I know there is nothing I really HAVE TO do or NEED TO do or have to have in life, but everything I LOVE to do. And all things done out of love are much more valuable than a thousand things done out of HAVES TO. It brings me happiness to share the Secret with all of you, happiness that I share with you in these words.
Prisoners in a morning bus
Have you ever been on a morning bus going to work feeling ungrateful and bad about the fact that you think you need to go to work? I have, many times; until I understood the Secret of life, the Secret of happiness. Yesterday I entered to that morning bus with a smile on my face and looked at all the people sitting in there like prisoners in a prison. They seemed so sad in their thoughts staring at somewhere in the future or in the past instead of looking up and realizing the only prison they have is their own mind. While observing around me I felt love, happiness; and miserable. All I could do was just to keep on smiling from all of my heart. Maybe one morning there will be another pair of eyes smiling back at me and the smile I have would grow double. We are not victims of the life around us, but we might be victims of our own thoughts. So, if you are to think, think of what makes you happy and smile! A genuine smile comes out of happiness, out of love. It shines from your eyes. And if sometimes it is hard to find that smile within yourself, then it should be found at least in a thousand smiles around you every day.
No more HAVES TO
And why do I say that we actually do NOT HAVE TO do anything? The fact is I am not living to be alive. I am living out of love. I am not afraid of not having the things that I think are necessary to be alive. I have survived without money and even without food for several days; most of the time with a smile on my face. I am not afraid of dying either. In fact, I could even die now; with a smile on my face. Because the only thing that would die would be my body. The energy would pass on in another form, a form that a scientist calls Atoms and a man of the church may call God. Being not afraid of lacking the things that I need to survive makes me STRONG. Things like money, food, shelter; and most of all love! I choose life instead of death; because it is the greatest Gift! I choose to feel happiness, to feel love in this moment, whether it is in a wet tent in a parking lot of a gas station or on a sunny beach in India… And I actually have been in that wet tent feeling grateful that I can actually feel the rain. Even if it means I am going to be sick the next morning, but at least I was alive! I accept that I am still not on that sunny beach either. That beach for me means peace and harmony; it means joy to be able to spend some time with fewer things on my mind, less material possession with people who look at the World with same eyes. Maybe I will be there, one day. But it doesn’t really matter because I can actually find my peace right where I am now, I can be happy and in harmony, right now. AND I can help others to be happy, too. That’s great! I simply just choose not to be a victim of a moment and instead surrender to the moment. I may be blessed to be able to choose so freely where I am and what am I doing in the World around me. But like I said, it doesn’t really matter as long as I enjoy life. And if I do what I do, it means hard work sometimes, but instead of the word HAVE TO I use the word CHOOSE TO because that’s the road meant to be taken and I stick with it until I feel the road has come to an end. And I do not complain. Sometimes a tired body and a tired mind are proving that we are alive! Just surrender to the moment! Every moment! Completely! Without thoughts that you didn’t even notice existed.
I’d like to name a big addiction here, which is called WANT. Life is full of want, of expectations, of doing things for the wrong reasons. But you are true to yourself when you realize that the only reason is to do it without any need, without any wanting. Then you also stop doing it out of HAVES TO. The word WANT and HAVE goes hand in hand. When you only do it out of pure love you feel true happiness.
Of course it is healthy to want something more to happen, but it shouldn’t be the purpose of the action. The purpose of every action should be to enjoy the action itself.
Where is happiness?
Yesterday night at 2am I was dancing uphill to a place called home with a dear friend. Though, home is wherever my mind is I choose to rest my body in a certain place. While dancing and singing Jingle Bells along the road on an unusually warm night I felt joy instead of feeling tired of the thought that I have to reach home to rest. I chose to be thankful that it was a warm night. On that night I could have sang Christmas songs until the morning. While looking up with a smile my friend and I saw a plastic bag dancing in the air next to a pile of garbage that seemed so beautiful in all its ugliness. We saw a blue, shooting meteorite reaching the atmosphere while a black beetle, my favorite car, was passing us by.
Can you believe all the beautiful things you see when you look up? Would you believe if somebody said you actually don’t need to sleep? I was told a human being needs regular eight hours of sleep every night. Well, I am here to witness that the only measure of what you really need is your feelings. Of course my body needs a rest and my mind needs to relax in other ways at times. Not every moment can be thoughtless, sometimes you need to think to be able to plan, but you can do it consciously. Feel yourself even when planning. When I go to rest I tend to start thinking while lying down and feeling my body. And because thinking makes our mind tired, I do fall asleep eventually. And in the next morning I sometimes tend to rush to the toilet. And while sitting in there I realize I do not remember did I turn of the alarm clock… Is it still ringing? Do I have any lemons for my morning tea after my morning yoga …Hey, look at that toilet paper, it has bunnies instead of hearts! Who the heck would want to wipe their ass on bunnies? …People are so funny. At least we have hearts in our pink toilet carpet. Oh, we have a new toilet carpet. It has hearts, too. People really love toilets... Yep, the alarm clock is still on. And I am I am still sitting here and thinking. Bunnies on the paper… Nuts! I should take the trash out when I go. Ok, let’s do some yoga even I don’t feel like it. Why do I have to do it? Oh yes, I don’t, but I do it…
I do it every morning, because I know that when I do it, it makes my body alive, it brings me the feeling of happiness, just as going to my work every day. And while working I realize I enjoy it. Sometimes I get tired. But I do not complain. I feel it, I accept it, and I may even say it out loud. I stopped thinking I don’t want to do things, but instead I do them! I do them out of love and respect for others, out of respect for Life. I try not to think negative things. That brings me happiness.
We are all looking for one thing: happiness! Just don’t reach it too far from the past or from the future. Even from the other people or the life around you. It starts from your body! Life is too beautiful to be wasted on being asleep, whether it is in the night or on a morning bus being lost on your thoughts. Even if all the things I enjoy doing, would be taken away, I would try not to miss them, but to appreciate what I had and what I have now. Whether it is feeling your body still in the moment or watching the cars go by while hitch-hiking. Because I know there is nothing to be afraid of. Just be strong.
We don’t need to go anywhere or do anything to relax and find our peace of mind, to find love for the moment. We can simply just stop doing for one moment, whether the action is in the outside world or in our own thoughts. Take a deep breath.
Rules for thinkers
You don’t even need a guide to a better life, you don’t need rules that say do not kill, don’t steel. Thinkers make rules for life, need police officers to keep order. For me those rules are feelings that come from within me. They should be so obvious I do not need to think about them. I do for others what I would do for myself; and the other way around. I try to remember to love each and every person and item on my way. But of course it is very hard some days.
In the end we are all the same energy in the Universe, in the eyes of God. I do not want to waste moments in negativity like hate, because the hate I have for others is actually hate I have for myself. I don’t live counting all the things that are wrong in my life, whether they are wrong in the outside world or inside of my own head.
I don’t care what other people think or say. Don’t wait for their acceptance. Like I said; it doesn’t matter, because we are all the same. Just start by being true to yourself. Respect yourself and you can respect others.
Always have time to be happy, always have time to love
What keeps me on the surface is to try to love everything around me, each moment. To love like it would be the last moment I can love, the last day of my life. It makes me feel good instead of thinking and worrying about yesterday or tomorrow; because in the Universe the time doesn’t actually exist. Would you believe that? And because I know there’s no time I always I have time to fix a problem with love rather than forcing something to work, I have time to appreciate that piece of soap I use to wash my tired face, I always have time to stand in a queue in my favorite restaurant greeting the owner whose eyes I can see real love for the job he is doing, I always have time to take a deep breath, look up, smile and expect nothing as a return. And I remember: it is not the amount of breaths, but the love I put into them. It is not about the amount of time you put into doing something, it is the feeling, the love you put into them!
Healing from addictions
When you take a deep breath you realize there is really nothing to worry about. Why do you think people are usually addicted to something? They are addicted to doing. Whether it is their work, alcohol or food. They are afraid to face lack of doing, because there the thinking starts. And thinking creates layers between the mind and the feeling of being complete when the action stops. People are overweight, because after eating with their body they start eating with their mind. They think, see or smell the food and they eat it. They start to want it instead of just feeling what the body really needs. So if you happen to be one of those people, just get up from the dinner table and breath. There you go! You are healed!
Take a break once in a while from the things you do, but instead taking a break to think, take a break to breath. Trust me; you really don’t need a break from your life when you live out of enjoyment.
Losing the weight of my mind
Thinking about fears
I know past is past, but let’s give it a word, because it brought me from an unbalanced place, where I was afraid of people and their thoughts, to where I am now. I didn’t know that in the end, it doesn’t matter if you just are strong. You don’t need to hide behind your thoughts. You don’t need to be afraid of thoughts, to be afraid to be weak. But be careful not to be proud to be strong.
I was afraid of the darkness, of dogs. I saw an insect on my hand and I wanted to get rid of it. I didn’t realize that there is nothing to get rid of. We are all same in the eyes of God. I was afraid of unorganized homes. I wanted to organize my home because my mind was so occupied with all the layers of bars I had built to my windows, between me and my mind. I didn’t see that the only thing I needed to organize was my mind… In the end I was even afraid to breath. I thought I liked being alone so I was alone a lot watching a lot of television and thinking too much. I developed sicknesses; I developed asthma, because I was afraid to stand strongly with my whole body. I didn’t want to disturb other people. I didn’t see that the whole Universe was already in me. I needed real love and acceptance to start accepting myself.
And when I started to get that acceptance from the world outside I also slowly started to break the bars I built. I wanted to change my life. And I ended up taking a huge leap and left the life I had to explore world, to maybe even find my happiness. And while doing so people were thinking how admirable my life was. In fact, it is. So is the so called ordinary life many people live. And they know it. Because life is great everywhere! You can do anything because there are no impossible things in life. Just put your ass into it. I did. I had to. While travelling I collected a lot of knowledge, a lot of options. But only by controlling my mind, by being strong I was able to follow MY bliss.
Healing my body
But I was still very weak physically. My immune system was not strong enough. I was thinking why in all the people around me I was the one who got sick so often even if I lived like the people around me. Eating what they ate, doing what they did. Doctors gave me medicines, but it only gave a brief relieve for my body, just like alcohol gives a brief relief for a mind. Then I met a nutritionist and discovered alternative medicine. He gave me an advice for my diet and guided me to chance my life habits. He taught me how to start listening to my body. And instead of worrying of the things that were wrong I started to accept them as they were. As I accepted them, I realized I can chance them. I started swimming and I realized I only need to let all the fears go; fears of not being able to breathe. I just had to feel oneness with the moment, with the water; without negative thoughts.
And while my body started to feel better my mind woke up to see it was the one that needed to be healed first to be able to be complete. Somehow the Universe leaded me to the right sources, or maybe it was me who choose to seize the moment. I went to a place where the only thing I could concentrate in was my body.
Healing my mind
It took time, but I changed my whole life starting from listening to my body on what does it need to surrendering my mind to the moment. I found my peace in a meditation center somewhere in the forest of Lebanon, where the only thing I could do was to sleep a short night, eat couple times a day, and have a shower and a small walk between the long meditation hours. I did not even have music to keep me on the surface; only silence, SILENCE for eleven long days that after eleven days seemed too short. It took me some days to give up thinking while sitting in that meditation room. But I found myself. Well, at least a part of it that occasionally gets lost in this World full of distractions. I found that the definition of who I was, is not who I am today.
I’m still collecting my pieces. Teaching ten heads in a classroom at once gets you easily out of balance, it gets you tired. I sometimes realize I am aiming so much for the next moment while trying to teach the whole subject of the lesson, even my handwriting in the blackboard turns into the handwriting of a doctor. I gaze aimlessly around trying to see all the students at once. Sometimes my head is full of ideas like my table is full of copies dropping down to the floor. Then I take myself a moment to breath deep to relax, collect my thoughts, which I didn’t even notice existed and admit that the first things to concentrate are the students, not the subject, even if it means a slow start for the lesson while feeling and looking at each other. After that no matter how many times I have taught the same subject that day I still usually manage to get the feeling it is the first time; because it is. Every day I seem to find more missing puzzles of me while I simply am learning to be present and in harmony with each moment. I choose to be slow and quiet on my free days. In those moments the definition of our ego loses its meaning.
In one of those moments I realized the huge energy we have inside of us.
I saw energy in my eyes and in the eyes of my friend that came to read this Gift at my presence.
I saw pain he had on his neck, the black spot of pain I used to have on my chest; the burden of the past. I felt the energy in my palms and as I looked at them I realized how disconnected we can be from our bodies. We have so much energy in us! It just takes a lot of time to concentrate and surrender to the moment to feel it, to be able to realize the energy. It is what separates us from other animals. We are aware of Life, we can feel compassion, and we feel Love. Love for Life.
Drama and more distractions
The egos in us tend to create more drama and suffering, whether it is at our work or home, in a television or a café while talking to our friends. Talking is a great way to get distracted. So choose your topic carefully. Many times I choose to be silent and observe, because usually we use talking to define things, to understand each other instead of just observing. I used to create drama to have a stronger feeling, a feeling that brings me more alive. By all means, create drama, talk about it, gossip! Do it to laugh for life, just like telling a joke. Just don’t be distracted by it! Don’t take it seriously.
It’s like drinking too much and having a hangover the next day. You do not enjoy it but it makes you feel alive. While, in the other hand, being drunk makes you feel instead of thinking. But we don’t really need drama or alcohol to feel, do we?
Less is more
For me Christmas in not the amount of presents you give or get, it is the quality that you put into them. Why do you think people in poor countries usually smile more than the wealthiest people in the world? They learn to appreciate the small things in life, small things like a piece of soap.
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
-Mother Theresa
We need less to have more love and happiness. It is as simple as that. It helps us to feel what it is that we truly need. It helps us feel oneness with all the things around us.
We need to find ourselves and within that the connection between the life around us. We need to find that peace inside of us after all outside action is gone. I saw the first climbs of the Universe in me during those long meditation hours. A climbs that even a life time full of therapist visits couldn’t have helped me to find. Believe me, I tried it.
Listen to your heart
What I see around me is people waiting or thinking too much. And I see love in their actions when they are doing what they enjoy, weather it is on a toilet paper filled with hearts or on the bars of the many windows. Or in the eyes of a child drawing hearts on the corner of a print sheet! We should be children again, just for a moment, and draw a pink heart to your check or even in a corner of a bill to be paid! Draw it with all your heart!
Life is never too serious to not be wasted on drawing a red heart!
I know I can love and enjoy all the moments in life, no matter how big or small or how much passion we feel at the moment. Life is like the Sea. Sometimes it is wavy, but underneath the surface it is still steady and calm. Just take life as it is; with a huge smile on your face in that morning bus or resting alone in your room, because every BODY needs a rest, needs a holiday, a Holy Day. Choose not to get bored of life by thinking, waiting or wanting. Instead FEEL! If you got the feeling, do not second guess! Choose the Moment, because Life happens now.
That is the Secret of Life. If it still is somewhat a mystery to you after these many words, listen to your heart!
Life happens, don’t define it
I try not to define things. I try to look at things like I would see them the first or the last time in my life, whether they are other people, the places I visit or the place I live. Same goes with other senses, like tasting a bar of chocolate or hearing my favorite band. Of course it is nice to have a change of scenery occasionally, but I still love going to my favorite cafe and looking at the same people sitting there doing the same things they did yesterday and never expecting them to do it tomorrow. There are always something more to learn in that cafe, details I didn’t notice yesterday. It’s like dancing tango. You can learn the moves to be better, but if you don’t have the feeling the most important thing is missing. Sometimes it might take time to get the feeling, sometimes it comes before the action. But you should never start expecting the next move instead of feeling your body, the music and your partner carrying you in the dance floor.
Life changes so suddenly. It involves and the only stable is change. So I try to love and respect each moment of it!
It may seem childish, but we are all children in the end. We are innocent under those eyes filled with thoughts. But unlike children we are aware of the dangers of the world. So draw a heart into YOUR life and be strong! Strip those expectations, those layers of roles, whether they are a role of a teacher, a student, a mother or an artist and become what you truly are. What you are is all of them combined. You are the mother or the father and the child of the whole World playing, smiling and enjoying in your BODY. Your body is The Gift!
Don’t worry, be happy'
Don’t try to look for your happiness. That never works. You might end up getting even more lost. Start asking yourself DO YOUR ACTIONS BRING YOU REAL HAPPINESS. Start asking yourself WHY you do the things you do. Step outside from that box you might be living in. Open your mind to a new World. Maybe it will help. It helped me. Just don’t worry about life. Surrender to the moment and then, stand for your rights, for the things most important to you. Help others. Start healing the wounds of the world one at a time. Whether it is in your office or at a battle court. Just do not be afraid, be happy whatever it is that you do. Feel love.
If you cannot find joy in anything you do, look inside you. If it’s too hard, look into the mirror, put on some lipstick and smile. And if you are a guy, you should laugh! Put on some relaxing Christmas music or maybe some heavy metal and start dancing. Open the door and go out to see children playing, see their joy! Start by doing something and you’ll find the feeling of joy in it. Just don’t worry.
Start by doing something different every day, even if it’s just taking a different route to work, to be able to think differently.
What is in you is the whole Universe. You are an important part of a puzzle, but if you are missing, the puzzle will never be completed. Do not worry to get lost sometimes. We are not perfect. And that’s what makes us so Great, so funny, so lovable, so perfect! Learn to accept the person looking in the mirror, laugh to that person! You are great!
Relax
Remember the things you do to relax in the moment? It can be while cooking and eating, while listening to music or watching a movie. Though watching a movie might get you distracted instead of connected with you true self. Now, transfer the feeling of relaxing in each moment of your life. It needs a lot of focus, but you can do it. Remember: less is more! You just need to be present in every step of your way. You need to surrender to the moment! Christmas is the best time to do so, to let everything flow!
Dance for Your God
No matter if you believe in God and Jesus Christ and sing an ode from the Bible. Maybe you pray for Allah and read the Koran. You may even believe in Buddha, and repeat Om to be in peace. But one thing in common in all the religions is Love. Just sing and dance for your God, for your soul, for life!
The dance I dance in the dance floor, may it be salsa, tango, hip-hop or all of them mixed, reaches me in the kitchen next morning while preparing my breakfast. For me, life is a dance. It is a song to sing or a beautifully played instrument. Because those moments we are present in each action, we are in harmony with your body and mind. Without thoughts, just feelings.
Even if sometimes I might lose my rhythm just like I lose my words into too many thoughts while writing this, I learned to laugh to my mistakes, I learned to love them, I learned to love life and the whole Universe. Today I found my smile in the mirror.
What is Christmas?
Christmas is peace and love. It is leaving all the worries behind and being in peace with your loved ones. It is happiness that shines within your eyes, within your real smile. In this Christmas smile to yourself in the mirror! Smile to your enemies! See the love in your eyes and feel it all around! In this Christmas: love each other no matter how incomplete you may be! Because Because Christmas, my loved ones, is not a date, it is a state of mind.
A gift
This Christmas share your gift with people close to you, whether they stand next to you or a thousand miles away. Share your smile with the people that you think least deserve it. They might need it the most. Hug them! Hug the people around you! Hug more! Because all that we really need is to give and receive love. Love without expectations. Love because you love to love, hug because you love to hug!
I am so very thankful to all of you who brought that smile on my face and even to those who made it so hard to find sometimes. Because of all of you I am now where I am; not as in a place, but as in a state of mind.
As I smile out of love while writing this I realize that my eyes and my cheek need a rest while my mind could work until everything I got to say would be written.
These words might all be very obvious to some of you or a very strange concept to many of you. But at least it brought me happiness to write them down. For me it’s been a several hours meditation session, a journey to a human mind writing and letting everything flow. The only thing left is my smile, that I give in these words and I give it a rest. I’ll put on one last time a peaceful Christmas song from a movie The Snowman that I used to watch every Christmas morning. And within that song I remember each and every one of you with love during these Christmas Days that seems to turn into New Year while writing.
I send you all my love and I send it to all those people lost in their thoughts in the morning bus.
“Happiness is when your thoughts, actions and words are all one.”
-Mahatma Gandhi
I see love in you when you play for your heart, when you sing a song so beautiful it would make walls around you cry.
I see the strength of life in you; I hear it in your voice. The voice that changes into a role of an innocent boy, a sad boy after the song has been played; after the moment of feeling has gone.
So this Holy Night, play from your heart and see no ending. Do not let the thoughts come between your mind and the body. Give your whole soul;
in this Holy night.
-Mary Ellen Chase
I got a Secret to tell. It’s a Christmas gift from me to you. It is arriving late, but delivering it took few days more than planned.
It doesn’t come in a packet, nor in a chocolate box or inside of a new television. It comes from all of my heart. It is called Love. Why I give my gift to you is not because I think I have to do it. I know there is nothing I really HAVE TO do or NEED TO do or have to have in life, but everything I LOVE to do. And all things done out of love are much more valuable than a thousand things done out of HAVES TO. It brings me happiness to share the Secret with all of you, happiness that I share with you in these words.
Prisoners in a morning bus
Have you ever been on a morning bus going to work feeling ungrateful and bad about the fact that you think you need to go to work? I have, many times; until I understood the Secret of life, the Secret of happiness. Yesterday I entered to that morning bus with a smile on my face and looked at all the people sitting in there like prisoners in a prison. They seemed so sad in their thoughts staring at somewhere in the future or in the past instead of looking up and realizing the only prison they have is their own mind. While observing around me I felt love, happiness; and miserable. All I could do was just to keep on smiling from all of my heart. Maybe one morning there will be another pair of eyes smiling back at me and the smile I have would grow double. We are not victims of the life around us, but we might be victims of our own thoughts. So, if you are to think, think of what makes you happy and smile! A genuine smile comes out of happiness, out of love. It shines from your eyes. And if sometimes it is hard to find that smile within yourself, then it should be found at least in a thousand smiles around you every day.
No more HAVES TO
And why do I say that we actually do NOT HAVE TO do anything? The fact is I am not living to be alive. I am living out of love. I am not afraid of not having the things that I think are necessary to be alive. I have survived without money and even without food for several days; most of the time with a smile on my face. I am not afraid of dying either. In fact, I could even die now; with a smile on my face. Because the only thing that would die would be my body. The energy would pass on in another form, a form that a scientist calls Atoms and a man of the church may call God. Being not afraid of lacking the things that I need to survive makes me STRONG. Things like money, food, shelter; and most of all love! I choose life instead of death; because it is the greatest Gift! I choose to feel happiness, to feel love in this moment, whether it is in a wet tent in a parking lot of a gas station or on a sunny beach in India… And I actually have been in that wet tent feeling grateful that I can actually feel the rain. Even if it means I am going to be sick the next morning, but at least I was alive! I accept that I am still not on that sunny beach either. That beach for me means peace and harmony; it means joy to be able to spend some time with fewer things on my mind, less material possession with people who look at the World with same eyes. Maybe I will be there, one day. But it doesn’t really matter because I can actually find my peace right where I am now, I can be happy and in harmony, right now. AND I can help others to be happy, too. That’s great! I simply just choose not to be a victim of a moment and instead surrender to the moment. I may be blessed to be able to choose so freely where I am and what am I doing in the World around me. But like I said, it doesn’t really matter as long as I enjoy life. And if I do what I do, it means hard work sometimes, but instead of the word HAVE TO I use the word CHOOSE TO because that’s the road meant to be taken and I stick with it until I feel the road has come to an end. And I do not complain. Sometimes a tired body and a tired mind are proving that we are alive! Just surrender to the moment! Every moment! Completely! Without thoughts that you didn’t even notice existed.
I’d like to name a big addiction here, which is called WANT. Life is full of want, of expectations, of doing things for the wrong reasons. But you are true to yourself when you realize that the only reason is to do it without any need, without any wanting. Then you also stop doing it out of HAVES TO. The word WANT and HAVE goes hand in hand. When you only do it out of pure love you feel true happiness.
Of course it is healthy to want something more to happen, but it shouldn’t be the purpose of the action. The purpose of every action should be to enjoy the action itself.
Where is happiness?
Yesterday night at 2am I was dancing uphill to a place called home with a dear friend. Though, home is wherever my mind is I choose to rest my body in a certain place. While dancing and singing Jingle Bells along the road on an unusually warm night I felt joy instead of feeling tired of the thought that I have to reach home to rest. I chose to be thankful that it was a warm night. On that night I could have sang Christmas songs until the morning. While looking up with a smile my friend and I saw a plastic bag dancing in the air next to a pile of garbage that seemed so beautiful in all its ugliness. We saw a blue, shooting meteorite reaching the atmosphere while a black beetle, my favorite car, was passing us by.
Can you believe all the beautiful things you see when you look up? Would you believe if somebody said you actually don’t need to sleep? I was told a human being needs regular eight hours of sleep every night. Well, I am here to witness that the only measure of what you really need is your feelings. Of course my body needs a rest and my mind needs to relax in other ways at times. Not every moment can be thoughtless, sometimes you need to think to be able to plan, but you can do it consciously. Feel yourself even when planning. When I go to rest I tend to start thinking while lying down and feeling my body. And because thinking makes our mind tired, I do fall asleep eventually. And in the next morning I sometimes tend to rush to the toilet. And while sitting in there I realize I do not remember did I turn of the alarm clock… Is it still ringing? Do I have any lemons for my morning tea after my morning yoga …Hey, look at that toilet paper, it has bunnies instead of hearts! Who the heck would want to wipe their ass on bunnies? …People are so funny. At least we have hearts in our pink toilet carpet. Oh, we have a new toilet carpet. It has hearts, too. People really love toilets... Yep, the alarm clock is still on. And I am I am still sitting here and thinking. Bunnies on the paper… Nuts! I should take the trash out when I go. Ok, let’s do some yoga even I don’t feel like it. Why do I have to do it? Oh yes, I don’t, but I do it…
I do it every morning, because I know that when I do it, it makes my body alive, it brings me the feeling of happiness, just as going to my work every day. And while working I realize I enjoy it. Sometimes I get tired. But I do not complain. I feel it, I accept it, and I may even say it out loud. I stopped thinking I don’t want to do things, but instead I do them! I do them out of love and respect for others, out of respect for Life. I try not to think negative things. That brings me happiness.
We are all looking for one thing: happiness! Just don’t reach it too far from the past or from the future. Even from the other people or the life around you. It starts from your body! Life is too beautiful to be wasted on being asleep, whether it is in the night or on a morning bus being lost on your thoughts. Even if all the things I enjoy doing, would be taken away, I would try not to miss them, but to appreciate what I had and what I have now. Whether it is feeling your body still in the moment or watching the cars go by while hitch-hiking. Because I know there is nothing to be afraid of. Just be strong.
We don’t need to go anywhere or do anything to relax and find our peace of mind, to find love for the moment. We can simply just stop doing for one moment, whether the action is in the outside world or in our own thoughts. Take a deep breath.
Rules for thinkers
You don’t even need a guide to a better life, you don’t need rules that say do not kill, don’t steel. Thinkers make rules for life, need police officers to keep order. For me those rules are feelings that come from within me. They should be so obvious I do not need to think about them. I do for others what I would do for myself; and the other way around. I try to remember to love each and every person and item on my way. But of course it is very hard some days.
In the end we are all the same energy in the Universe, in the eyes of God. I do not want to waste moments in negativity like hate, because the hate I have for others is actually hate I have for myself. I don’t live counting all the things that are wrong in my life, whether they are wrong in the outside world or inside of my own head.
I don’t care what other people think or say. Don’t wait for their acceptance. Like I said; it doesn’t matter, because we are all the same. Just start by being true to yourself. Respect yourself and you can respect others.
Always have time to be happy, always have time to love
What keeps me on the surface is to try to love everything around me, each moment. To love like it would be the last moment I can love, the last day of my life. It makes me feel good instead of thinking and worrying about yesterday or tomorrow; because in the Universe the time doesn’t actually exist. Would you believe that? And because I know there’s no time I always I have time to fix a problem with love rather than forcing something to work, I have time to appreciate that piece of soap I use to wash my tired face, I always have time to stand in a queue in my favorite restaurant greeting the owner whose eyes I can see real love for the job he is doing, I always have time to take a deep breath, look up, smile and expect nothing as a return. And I remember: it is not the amount of breaths, but the love I put into them. It is not about the amount of time you put into doing something, it is the feeling, the love you put into them!
Healing from addictions
When you take a deep breath you realize there is really nothing to worry about. Why do you think people are usually addicted to something? They are addicted to doing. Whether it is their work, alcohol or food. They are afraid to face lack of doing, because there the thinking starts. And thinking creates layers between the mind and the feeling of being complete when the action stops. People are overweight, because after eating with their body they start eating with their mind. They think, see or smell the food and they eat it. They start to want it instead of just feeling what the body really needs. So if you happen to be one of those people, just get up from the dinner table and breath. There you go! You are healed!
Take a break once in a while from the things you do, but instead taking a break to think, take a break to breath. Trust me; you really don’t need a break from your life when you live out of enjoyment.
Losing the weight of my mind
Thinking about fears
I know past is past, but let’s give it a word, because it brought me from an unbalanced place, where I was afraid of people and their thoughts, to where I am now. I didn’t know that in the end, it doesn’t matter if you just are strong. You don’t need to hide behind your thoughts. You don’t need to be afraid of thoughts, to be afraid to be weak. But be careful not to be proud to be strong.
I was afraid of the darkness, of dogs. I saw an insect on my hand and I wanted to get rid of it. I didn’t realize that there is nothing to get rid of. We are all same in the eyes of God. I was afraid of unorganized homes. I wanted to organize my home because my mind was so occupied with all the layers of bars I had built to my windows, between me and my mind. I didn’t see that the only thing I needed to organize was my mind… In the end I was even afraid to breath. I thought I liked being alone so I was alone a lot watching a lot of television and thinking too much. I developed sicknesses; I developed asthma, because I was afraid to stand strongly with my whole body. I didn’t want to disturb other people. I didn’t see that the whole Universe was already in me. I needed real love and acceptance to start accepting myself.
And when I started to get that acceptance from the world outside I also slowly started to break the bars I built. I wanted to change my life. And I ended up taking a huge leap and left the life I had to explore world, to maybe even find my happiness. And while doing so people were thinking how admirable my life was. In fact, it is. So is the so called ordinary life many people live. And they know it. Because life is great everywhere! You can do anything because there are no impossible things in life. Just put your ass into it. I did. I had to. While travelling I collected a lot of knowledge, a lot of options. But only by controlling my mind, by being strong I was able to follow MY bliss.
Healing my body
But I was still very weak physically. My immune system was not strong enough. I was thinking why in all the people around me I was the one who got sick so often even if I lived like the people around me. Eating what they ate, doing what they did. Doctors gave me medicines, but it only gave a brief relieve for my body, just like alcohol gives a brief relief for a mind. Then I met a nutritionist and discovered alternative medicine. He gave me an advice for my diet and guided me to chance my life habits. He taught me how to start listening to my body. And instead of worrying of the things that were wrong I started to accept them as they were. As I accepted them, I realized I can chance them. I started swimming and I realized I only need to let all the fears go; fears of not being able to breathe. I just had to feel oneness with the moment, with the water; without negative thoughts.
And while my body started to feel better my mind woke up to see it was the one that needed to be healed first to be able to be complete. Somehow the Universe leaded me to the right sources, or maybe it was me who choose to seize the moment. I went to a place where the only thing I could concentrate in was my body.
Healing my mind
It took time, but I changed my whole life starting from listening to my body on what does it need to surrendering my mind to the moment. I found my peace in a meditation center somewhere in the forest of Lebanon, where the only thing I could do was to sleep a short night, eat couple times a day, and have a shower and a small walk between the long meditation hours. I did not even have music to keep me on the surface; only silence, SILENCE for eleven long days that after eleven days seemed too short. It took me some days to give up thinking while sitting in that meditation room. But I found myself. Well, at least a part of it that occasionally gets lost in this World full of distractions. I found that the definition of who I was, is not who I am today.
I’m still collecting my pieces. Teaching ten heads in a classroom at once gets you easily out of balance, it gets you tired. I sometimes realize I am aiming so much for the next moment while trying to teach the whole subject of the lesson, even my handwriting in the blackboard turns into the handwriting of a doctor. I gaze aimlessly around trying to see all the students at once. Sometimes my head is full of ideas like my table is full of copies dropping down to the floor. Then I take myself a moment to breath deep to relax, collect my thoughts, which I didn’t even notice existed and admit that the first things to concentrate are the students, not the subject, even if it means a slow start for the lesson while feeling and looking at each other. After that no matter how many times I have taught the same subject that day I still usually manage to get the feeling it is the first time; because it is. Every day I seem to find more missing puzzles of me while I simply am learning to be present and in harmony with each moment. I choose to be slow and quiet on my free days. In those moments the definition of our ego loses its meaning.
In one of those moments I realized the huge energy we have inside of us.
I saw energy in my eyes and in the eyes of my friend that came to read this Gift at my presence.
I saw pain he had on his neck, the black spot of pain I used to have on my chest; the burden of the past. I felt the energy in my palms and as I looked at them I realized how disconnected we can be from our bodies. We have so much energy in us! It just takes a lot of time to concentrate and surrender to the moment to feel it, to be able to realize the energy. It is what separates us from other animals. We are aware of Life, we can feel compassion, and we feel Love. Love for Life.
Drama and more distractions
The egos in us tend to create more drama and suffering, whether it is at our work or home, in a television or a café while talking to our friends. Talking is a great way to get distracted. So choose your topic carefully. Many times I choose to be silent and observe, because usually we use talking to define things, to understand each other instead of just observing. I used to create drama to have a stronger feeling, a feeling that brings me more alive. By all means, create drama, talk about it, gossip! Do it to laugh for life, just like telling a joke. Just don’t be distracted by it! Don’t take it seriously.
It’s like drinking too much and having a hangover the next day. You do not enjoy it but it makes you feel alive. While, in the other hand, being drunk makes you feel instead of thinking. But we don’t really need drama or alcohol to feel, do we?
Less is more
For me Christmas in not the amount of presents you give or get, it is the quality that you put into them. Why do you think people in poor countries usually smile more than the wealthiest people in the world? They learn to appreciate the small things in life, small things like a piece of soap.
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
-Mother Theresa
We need less to have more love and happiness. It is as simple as that. It helps us to feel what it is that we truly need. It helps us feel oneness with all the things around us.
We need to find ourselves and within that the connection between the life around us. We need to find that peace inside of us after all outside action is gone. I saw the first climbs of the Universe in me during those long meditation hours. A climbs that even a life time full of therapist visits couldn’t have helped me to find. Believe me, I tried it.
Listen to your heart
What I see around me is people waiting or thinking too much. And I see love in their actions when they are doing what they enjoy, weather it is on a toilet paper filled with hearts or on the bars of the many windows. Or in the eyes of a child drawing hearts on the corner of a print sheet! We should be children again, just for a moment, and draw a pink heart to your check or even in a corner of a bill to be paid! Draw it with all your heart!
Life is never too serious to not be wasted on drawing a red heart!
I know I can love and enjoy all the moments in life, no matter how big or small or how much passion we feel at the moment. Life is like the Sea. Sometimes it is wavy, but underneath the surface it is still steady and calm. Just take life as it is; with a huge smile on your face in that morning bus or resting alone in your room, because every BODY needs a rest, needs a holiday, a Holy Day. Choose not to get bored of life by thinking, waiting or wanting. Instead FEEL! If you got the feeling, do not second guess! Choose the Moment, because Life happens now.
That is the Secret of Life. If it still is somewhat a mystery to you after these many words, listen to your heart!
Life happens, don’t define it
I try not to define things. I try to look at things like I would see them the first or the last time in my life, whether they are other people, the places I visit or the place I live. Same goes with other senses, like tasting a bar of chocolate or hearing my favorite band. Of course it is nice to have a change of scenery occasionally, but I still love going to my favorite cafe and looking at the same people sitting there doing the same things they did yesterday and never expecting them to do it tomorrow. There are always something more to learn in that cafe, details I didn’t notice yesterday. It’s like dancing tango. You can learn the moves to be better, but if you don’t have the feeling the most important thing is missing. Sometimes it might take time to get the feeling, sometimes it comes before the action. But you should never start expecting the next move instead of feeling your body, the music and your partner carrying you in the dance floor.
Life changes so suddenly. It involves and the only stable is change. So I try to love and respect each moment of it!
It may seem childish, but we are all children in the end. We are innocent under those eyes filled with thoughts. But unlike children we are aware of the dangers of the world. So draw a heart into YOUR life and be strong! Strip those expectations, those layers of roles, whether they are a role of a teacher, a student, a mother or an artist and become what you truly are. What you are is all of them combined. You are the mother or the father and the child of the whole World playing, smiling and enjoying in your BODY. Your body is The Gift!
Don’t worry, be happy'
Don’t try to look for your happiness. That never works. You might end up getting even more lost. Start asking yourself DO YOUR ACTIONS BRING YOU REAL HAPPINESS. Start asking yourself WHY you do the things you do. Step outside from that box you might be living in. Open your mind to a new World. Maybe it will help. It helped me. Just don’t worry about life. Surrender to the moment and then, stand for your rights, for the things most important to you. Help others. Start healing the wounds of the world one at a time. Whether it is in your office or at a battle court. Just do not be afraid, be happy whatever it is that you do. Feel love.
If you cannot find joy in anything you do, look inside you. If it’s too hard, look into the mirror, put on some lipstick and smile. And if you are a guy, you should laugh! Put on some relaxing Christmas music or maybe some heavy metal and start dancing. Open the door and go out to see children playing, see their joy! Start by doing something and you’ll find the feeling of joy in it. Just don’t worry.
Start by doing something different every day, even if it’s just taking a different route to work, to be able to think differently.
What is in you is the whole Universe. You are an important part of a puzzle, but if you are missing, the puzzle will never be completed. Do not worry to get lost sometimes. We are not perfect. And that’s what makes us so Great, so funny, so lovable, so perfect! Learn to accept the person looking in the mirror, laugh to that person! You are great!
Relax
Remember the things you do to relax in the moment? It can be while cooking and eating, while listening to music or watching a movie. Though watching a movie might get you distracted instead of connected with you true self. Now, transfer the feeling of relaxing in each moment of your life. It needs a lot of focus, but you can do it. Remember: less is more! You just need to be present in every step of your way. You need to surrender to the moment! Christmas is the best time to do so, to let everything flow!
Dance for Your God
No matter if you believe in God and Jesus Christ and sing an ode from the Bible. Maybe you pray for Allah and read the Koran. You may even believe in Buddha, and repeat Om to be in peace. But one thing in common in all the religions is Love. Just sing and dance for your God, for your soul, for life!
The dance I dance in the dance floor, may it be salsa, tango, hip-hop or all of them mixed, reaches me in the kitchen next morning while preparing my breakfast. For me, life is a dance. It is a song to sing or a beautifully played instrument. Because those moments we are present in each action, we are in harmony with your body and mind. Without thoughts, just feelings.
Even if sometimes I might lose my rhythm just like I lose my words into too many thoughts while writing this, I learned to laugh to my mistakes, I learned to love them, I learned to love life and the whole Universe. Today I found my smile in the mirror.
What is Christmas?
Christmas is peace and love. It is leaving all the worries behind and being in peace with your loved ones. It is happiness that shines within your eyes, within your real smile. In this Christmas smile to yourself in the mirror! Smile to your enemies! See the love in your eyes and feel it all around! In this Christmas: love each other no matter how incomplete you may be! Because Because Christmas, my loved ones, is not a date, it is a state of mind.
A gift
This Christmas share your gift with people close to you, whether they stand next to you or a thousand miles away. Share your smile with the people that you think least deserve it. They might need it the most. Hug them! Hug the people around you! Hug more! Because all that we really need is to give and receive love. Love without expectations. Love because you love to love, hug because you love to hug!
I am so very thankful to all of you who brought that smile on my face and even to those who made it so hard to find sometimes. Because of all of you I am now where I am; not as in a place, but as in a state of mind.
As I smile out of love while writing this I realize that my eyes and my cheek need a rest while my mind could work until everything I got to say would be written.
These words might all be very obvious to some of you or a very strange concept to many of you. But at least it brought me happiness to write them down. For me it’s been a several hours meditation session, a journey to a human mind writing and letting everything flow. The only thing left is my smile, that I give in these words and I give it a rest. I’ll put on one last time a peaceful Christmas song from a movie The Snowman that I used to watch every Christmas morning. And within that song I remember each and every one of you with love during these Christmas Days that seems to turn into New Year while writing.
I send you all my love and I send it to all those people lost in their thoughts in the morning bus.
“Happiness is when your thoughts, actions and words are all one.”
-Mahatma Gandhi
I see love in you when you play for your heart, when you sing a song so beautiful it would make walls around you cry.
I see the strength of life in you; I hear it in your voice. The voice that changes into a role of an innocent boy, a sad boy after the song has been played; after the moment of feeling has gone.
So this Holy Night, play from your heart and see no ending. Do not let the thoughts come between your mind and the body. Give your whole soul;
in this Holy night.
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